kind of a downer post but I gotta get it out there

It's been a very emotional week. I will keep the reasons to myself but I want to reflect on all I have to be grateful for.

First of all my darling kiddos. They are a handful and many days I go to bed so exhausted and just thinking of getting up in the morning to do it all over again is more than I can handle. But they are my life. Everything I do is for them. They make me smile when all I want to do is cry, they are my reason for waking up, literally! I love you Marcy and Pickle!

Second, my work gals. Thank you, thank you for putting up with me this week. I know it's been hard on you and I am so sorry. I am lucky to have you!

Third, wonderful friends and family that call me or ask me how I am doing. I have gotten a lot of phone calls out of the blue just letting me know I was in thoughts and prayers. I am in isolation, that's my MO, but you still know I need you. Thank you for following through on your feelings that I need you. If I haven't answered or called you back, please know I am grateful for you and I am just trying to get through each day and just seeing your name/number on the caller ID is enough.

And finally, my Heavenly Father. I have spent many hours talking with God this week. Through this whole process I know that I have needed him but I have been lazy about keeping in close contact. I miss him and I need him, I need to know he is there when I feel like I can't go anywhere else. I need his peace. I have used his shoulder more than ever, it's soaked by now. He keeps me from running away and hiding. I know I can face things as long as he is by my side. I will get through this, I know I will but it will be hard. All I ask is for your continued love and acceptance and of course patience with me. I am not perfect, I have made so many mistakes that bring me pain, and I am working through it. I will be OK, I know I will.